i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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