Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My breasts were aching with rage.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
