I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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