and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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