wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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