So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
