I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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