I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
