But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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