Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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