she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
