That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
