I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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