I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
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your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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