An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
