I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
