Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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