I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
