In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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