That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
