someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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