You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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