I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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