help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
