his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
