you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat