they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
