North Korea, Best Korea!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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