its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
