This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
