There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize