ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
