Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
