Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
