Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
