Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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