Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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