I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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