Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
