Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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