Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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