Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
