Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
