Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
