I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize