I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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