U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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