This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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