I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
