I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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