that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
