you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
