I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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