I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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