i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
