All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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