Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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