My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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