So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
