I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
