Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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