how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
