they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
