just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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