i love accidental penises.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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