You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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