The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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