Have you finally orgasmed yet?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found your dick twin last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
