hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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