if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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