belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
