I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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