So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
