the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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